sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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