My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
