New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
