in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
