Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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