The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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