we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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