just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
