I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
