you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
