Someone shit on the floor
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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