OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize