please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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