Kiss
Puke
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i out mim tonsoeep
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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