Please, let me fuck your mom
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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