Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Couch. On fire.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
