are you still at the devil's house?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The struggles of a small town man whore
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
