I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
