I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
