I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
