grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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