There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
