Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
