Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
