i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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