return my video game
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
