Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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