Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
