So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
