You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?