i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug