Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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(630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n

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(917): View more from New York City

I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!

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(917): I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done! http://tfl.nu/5vwu

Replies (18) Good night (1567) Bad night (2786)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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(804): I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock." http://tfl.nu/9z32

Replies (20) Good night (4614) Bad night (847)
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(858): View more from California

I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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(858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x

Replies (26) Good night (15193) Bad night (1220)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

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(910): whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes http://tfl.nu/crfp

Replies (15) Good night (2293) Bad night (4574)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.

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(321): Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever. http://tfl.nu/nab2

Replies (10) Good night (2999) Bad night (881)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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(918): See, not all bad decisions involve my penis. http://tfl.nu/lbts

Replies (5) Good night (3113) Bad night (938)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.

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(204): Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY. http://tfl.nu/elym

Replies (11) Good night (2926) Bad night (1016)
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(530): View more from California

My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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(530): My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/pzgc

Replies (13) Good night (4033) Bad night (1404)
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(312): View more from Illinois

please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

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(312): please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children http://tfl.nu/5h1t

Replies (8) Good night (1953) Bad night (870)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.

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(785): I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail. http://tfl.nu/ahrd

Replies (5) Good night (895) Bad night (1999)
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(904): View more from Florida

Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.

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(904): Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel. http://tfl.nu/cy7e

Replies (18) Good night (1352) Bad night (672)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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(720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv

Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (325)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.

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(651): i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again. http://tfl.nu/awxi

Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (549)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED

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(484): pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED http://tfl.nu/9rap

Replies (3) Good night (170) Bad night (419)

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