Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..

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(325): i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits.. http://tfl.nu/taa7

Replies (24) Good night (670) Bad night (2376)
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(518): View more from New York

I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.

(612): View more from Minnesota

May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.

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(518): I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day. (612): May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees. http://tfl.nu/b9l3

Replies (10) Good night (740) Bad night (1989)
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(207): View more from Maine

So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.

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(207): So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town. http://tfl.nu/b29o

Replies (32) Good night (7840) Bad night (2546)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

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(678): Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless. http://tfl.nu/cahf

Replies (4) Good night (2981) Bad night (847)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke

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(412): Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke http://tfl.nu/i48a

Replies (11) Good night (2268) Bad night (1748)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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(610): Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life. http://tfl.nu/zjcc

Replies (5) Good night (1459) Bad night (472)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.

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(832): He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him. http://tfl.nu/n4d8

Replies (13) Good night (1372) Bad night (396)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face

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(519): Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face http://tfl.nu/itm4

Replies (10) Good night (724) Bad night (398)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.

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(416): Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes. http://tfl.nu/v9h7

Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (354)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.

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(405): there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this. http://tfl.nu/t3uy

Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (669)
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(217): View more from Illinois

He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "

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(217): He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick " http://tfl.nu/w39y

Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (297)
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(416): View more from Toronto

whose parrot is this?

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(416): whose parrot is this? http://tfl.nu/79eu

Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (282)
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(775): View more from Nevada

he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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(775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy

Replies (4) Good night (262) Bad night (794)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.

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(937): Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment. http://tfl.nu/z1fq

Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (301)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat

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(575): Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat http://tfl.nu/1zg9

Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (415)

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