Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (758) Bad night (3721)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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  (225): Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee http://tfl.nu/zf15
  Replies (29) Good night (5913) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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  (847): She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses. http://tfl.nu/wrem
  Replies (50) Good night (1261) Bad night (4648)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

  (416): View more from Toronto

  From?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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  (647): It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM (416): From? (647): Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table... http://tfl.nu/hv77
  Replies (16) Good night (2418) Bad night (5432)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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  (204): Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever. http://tfl.nu/wklp
  Replies (28) Good night (5597) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ah tequila...

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  (913): You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur # (816): ah tequila... http://tfl.nu/7k34
  Replies (22) Good night (6206) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex

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  (262): It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex http://tfl.nu/c8t5
  Replies (12) Good night (4536) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (855) Bad night (2367)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.

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  (832): you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gkpj
  Replies (7) Good night (921) Bad night (2671)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.

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  (606): This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles. http://tfl.nu/9xw7
  Replies (6) Good night (1476) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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  (330): I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date. http://tfl.nu/3kpf
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.

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  (570): She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/lhd6
  Replies (0) Good night (1237) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

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  (773): And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad. (1-773): That's my new pick up line call me a polish name http://tfl.nu/jbx5
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways

  (425): View more from Washington

  so just a regular conversation then

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  (412): It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways (425): so just a regular conversation then http://tfl.nu/ie13
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?

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  (803): If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away? http://tfl.nu/9eig
  Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (191)

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