Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.

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(845): I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick. http://tfl.nu/cye7

Replies (9) Good night (4095) Bad night (712)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

Replies (37) Good night (820) Bad night (3640)
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(407): View more from Florida

I think I have a pornographic memory.

(954): View more from Florida

Don't you mean photographic?

(407): View more from Florida

No.

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(407): I think I have a pornographic memory. (954): Don't you mean photographic? (407): No. http://tfl.nu/ii2n

Replies (15) Good night (5934) Bad night (717)
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(347): View more from New York

she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

(1-347): View more from New York

ofcourse you didnt.

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(347): she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless. (1-347): ofcourse you didnt. http://tfl.nu/elq0

Replies (6) Good night (4552) Bad night (987)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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(605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8

Replies (20) Good night (4401) Bad night (978)
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(630): View more from Illinois

So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong

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(630): So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong http://tfl.nu/7whz

Replies (28) Good night (1059) Bad night (6023)
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(831): View more from California

No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.

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(831): No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone. http://tfl.nu/jc2m

Replies (6) Good night (1936) Bad night (1113)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

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(902): New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever . http://tfl.nu/6kwm

Replies (6) Good night (2949) Bad night (1205)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.

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(423): Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows. http://tfl.nu/mbnt

Replies (11) Good night (1831) Bad night (693)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.

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(416): You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams. http://tfl.nu/dmv7

Replies (4) Good night (1976) Bad night (574)
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(561): View more from Florida

She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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(561): She thinks Jesus was an astronaut. http://tfl.nu/koey

Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (590)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?

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(203): He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask? http://tfl.nu/1gfs

Replies (7) Good night (467) Bad night (1088)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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(416): I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses. http://tfl.nu/2j5j

Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (301)
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(586): View more from Michigan

He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.

(248): View more from Michigan

Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.

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(586): He probably thinks you're playing hard to get. (248): Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone. http://tfl.nu/1zpx

Replies (1) Good night (1460) Bad night (436)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!

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(614): I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit! http://tfl.nu/68by

Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (490)

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