It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
