p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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