The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
