I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
