how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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