Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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