i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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