Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
