Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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