Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
