just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
