he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
