why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
