Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You have to summon your inner elephant
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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