dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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