Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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