But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
