I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
