please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
