Jerry, you need to find god
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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