Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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