i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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