why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
