He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
