yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He? As in you personified your dick?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
