Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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