is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
