the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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