So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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