i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
