Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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